You Can’t Follow Jesus Without Humility

Faith, Hope and Love are the three great virtues of Christianity. But Humility seems to be a chief attribute of the believer. You just can’t follow Jesus without it. Humility is defined as “submissiveness before God” (Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church), “an attitude of lowliness and obedience, grounded in the recognition of one’s status before God as his creature” (Dictionary of Bible Themes), and even “being free from arrogance and pride, and having an accurate estimate of one’s worth” (Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary). But I’ve found that it’s easier to define Humility than it is to actually be humble.

The opposite of Humility is Pride. Pride is the great sin, the mother of them all. It brings competition and division and war. It destroys our fellowship with God and with others. It robs us of peace, and removes thankfulness and gratitude, because it causes us to feel entitled, never satisfied, deserving of better. Pride hinders our forgiveness of others (it would rather hold a grudge), and makes God-glorifying relationships virtually impossible. Someone has said that “Pride is God-repellant.” Nothing chases away fellowship with God like pride. It is a sin that lifts us up in opposition to our Creator.

It is at the moment of our conversion that God breaks our pride with a debilitating blow, and leaves a mark of humility on us that lasts forever. The very act of conversion is an experience of being humbled by God, who cuts us down before he builds us back up. We must recognize we are sick before we will call the doctor. We must feel the great depth of our sin-disease before we will fully appreciate the cure of God’s amazing grace in Christ. At conversion, God touches our pride, and we are never the same. He humbles us, bringing us to our knees. We bow low. Sometimes God uses difficult situations when we are especially stubborn, but he always knows just what to do to bring us to humbleness before him. The good news of the gospel begins with the bad news of our need. Through the gospel God shows us our sin and calls us to repentance. As we begin to see how wicked we are, God’s grace shines brighter and brighter, and the end result is a humbled, thankful and joyful heart that trusts him and loves him.

A picture of what I’m describing can be seen in the Old Testament story of the Patriarch, Jacob. Jacob was a trickster; a manipulator and deceiver. He was selfish. His cunning obtained for him the birthright that belonged to his older brother, Esau. He teamed up with his conniving mother to deceive and manipulate Jacob’s father, Isaac. The blessing came to Jacob, and Esau was furious! Jacob had to run for his life, and God used another trickster to begin to bring some humility into Jacob’s life. His father-in-law, Laban, deceived Jacob, giving him the wrong daughter for his wife! He went on to change his wages and make life miserable for him, until Jacob decided it was better to go home and face the murderous threats of Esau.

While waiting to meet Esau, Jacob had a life-changing encounter with God, who appeared to him as a man and wrestled with him all night! The man touched Jacob’s hip, and he limped for the rest of his life. But God changed Jacob’s name to Israel (Genesis 32:22-32). This was a changing point. Face to face with God. Jacob was a new man. He was still flawed, but there was now some maturity, some humility, about him.

This is a vivid picture of the way the Lord touches our pride at conversion. We limp the rest of our lives, having been brought to the end of ourselves. We see our sin, our need – our place before God. We see his gracious provision in Christ. There is a humility given to us that will become a great fountain in our lives, overflowing in many directions, and touching everything we do. The Christian life is impossible without it.

 

God’s word is absolutely full of calls to humility. Jesus taught that we cannot enter his kingdom unless we are humbled and become like a child (Mat 18:4)! We learn that everyone who exalts themselves will be cut down by God, and everyone who bows low in humility will be lifted high by God (Luke 14:11; James 4:6, 10; 1 Pet 5:5-6). We see wicked, idol-worshiping kings receive blessing from God when they humble themselves (1 Kings 21:29; Daniel 4:28-37). Even the evil Assyrian kingdom in Nineveh escapes God’s decreed disaster when they humble themselves and repent, much to Jonah’s dismay (Jon 3:6-10)! The mighty Creator God says he takes notice of the man who has a humble, repentant heart, who trembles at his word (Isa 66:2). And God sums up all that he requires of us as walking humbly with our God (Mic 6:8).

The life of the disciple of Jesus is only possible through humility. Pride is the opposite of following Jesus, who calls us to self-emptying, self-denying pursuit of God’s will (Luke 9:23). The life-long process of sanctification is the application of humility to all of life and all our relationships. As we walk in humility we are following Christ. Paul instructs believers to clothe ourselves with “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another” (Col 3:12-13). As we embrace self-denying humility we will discover that the secret of Christian relationships is treating others the way God has treated us. Again, this is possible only in humility. Because we have been brought low before God, we understand that he has been gracious to us, much better to us than we deserve. Therefore, we can be gracious to others. Pride hinders this continually, and much of the Christian life is fighting this pride, consigning it to the cross where it belongs, and embracing humility once again. Because God has been patient with me I can be patient with others (Col 3:12b). Because we have been loved by God, we can live in love towards others (Eph 5:2). Because God has forgiven us in Christ, we can forgive others (Eph 4:32).

Paul describes this entire mindset of humility that sums up the Christian life: “In humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Phil 2:3b). He tells us to have this “mind” (“mindset,” or “attitude”), which is ours in Christ (v5). In fact, Jesus modeled perfectly for us this humble attitude. Though equal with God, he did not fight for the enjoyment of his rights, but rather, “made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil 2:7-8).

This humility enables us to have God-glorifying relationships in the church. We won’t be competing and dividing if we are walking with our limp – the humility given to us in Christ. Husbands and wives will discover that the only way it is possible for them to walk in the marriage roles assigned to them by God is through humility. Pride will stop a husband from loving his wife as Christ loved the church, serving her and leading her well in the Lord. Only in humility can he pour out self-sacrificing love on his wife! Pride will make submitting to her husband as unto the Lord the very last thing a wife wants to do. Only in humility can she look past her imperfect husband to Christ, and follow his leadership with respect and joy. Moms and Dads will only be able to patiently and joyfully parent their children through humility. Humility is a great key that opens the door for relationships that honor God.

So, are you limping like Jacob yet? Has God touched your pride and brought you low before him? Have you seen your sinfulness and your need for Christ? Have you embraced God’s will? May the Lord fill us with his humility, and enable us to walk out this life of discipleship, for his glory!

[All Scripture quotations, English Standard Version (ESV) (c) 2001 Crossway]

 

Humility: The Key to Marriage?

Humility might just be the great sign of genuine Christianity, and the key to marriage.

Though no one – Christians included – is exempt from battling the monster of pride, it is impossible to be a real follower of Jesus without that pride being crippled to some degree by the power of the cross. The very act of conversion is an experience of being humbled by God. We hear the gospel and realize that we have sinned against a holy God. By grace we realize that this is part of who we are because of the fall of mankind; sin flows from our heart! We begin to understand that this disease has touched us to the core, affecting and tainting every part of us. Thus, the Holy Spirit humbles us. But in the next moment he raises us, showing us the great love of God for sinners displayed at the cross! We see Jesus taking our sin and bearing it for us, paying for it with his blood, and we are filled with humble, joyful faith. We get it. We believe, and we praise God for grace, which for the first time, seems truly amazing.

From that moment, we begin a walk with God and a process of becoming more like Jesus, by his powerful work in us. This process is sometimes two steps forward and one step back, but there is progress. We begin to see the fruit of the Spirit popping out in our lives. And with us every step of the way (but in varying measures) is the humility Christ etched into our soul the day we met him. This is illustrated by God’s dealing with Jacob in the Old Testament. When Jacob was touched by God, he limped for the rest of his life (Gen 32:30-31). God transformed him from a deceiver named Jacob into a growing servant of God named Israel. Humility, then, is a mark of genuine discipleship, and pride is its very opposite.

The self-righteous religious leaders of Israel needed Jesus just as much as the prostitutes and drunkards who were flocking to him; they just didn’t see their need, blinded as they were by pride. It is only those who perceive they are sick who call for the doctor. And those who have been forgiven much will love much, according to Jesus (Luke 7:47). Followers of Christ, therefore, must view ourselves through the lens of humility, considering others as more important than we are. This is how we follow the self-emptying example of Jesus (Phil 2:3-8). As we live day by day with an awareness of our sinfulness, and the great grace we have received from God, the gospel will radically transform our relationships; all of them! We will love others because we have been loved by God (Eph 5:2). We will forgive others as God in Christ forgave us, with humble, tender hearts (Eph 4:32).

One specific relationship that will be greatly affected by our continued growth in humility is the marriage relationship. Humility (and his friends, thankfulness, kindness and gentleness) is crucial to a good marriage. In fact, the instructions for husbands and wives in Scripture are actually expressions of humility toward God and your spouse! The roles God assigns to husbands and wives are the overflow of hearts that have been humbled by God. We see this in Peter’s words for husbands and wives (1 Peter 3:1-7).

Peter calls wives to act towards their husbands with the humility they have received from meeting God. For the wife, this is expressed through biblical submission. Biblical submission is never about inferiority. It does not imply that her husband is wiser, more knowledgeable, or closer to God (as verse seven of this passage will make clear). Rather, biblical submission is one equal choosing to submit to the other equal for a higher purpose. Christ, though equal to the Father, voluntarily submitted to him in order to fulfill his role. This is the pattern for wives, and it is impossible without humility. A wife looks beyond her husband to the Lord, and offers her voluntary submission as worship to God. Pride will be the constant hindrance to a wife’s biblical submission.

This humility is further seen as Peter calls wives to focus on inward, spiritual beauty, rather than what is outward and physical. Specifically, Peter refers to a “gentle and quiet spirit,” which is precious to God (v 3-4). A woman who is at peace with God, trusting him wholly, exudes this “imperishable beauty” from within.

Finally, Peter gives the example of Sarah and the Old Testament saints who displayed this beautiful humility in marriage because they “hoped in God” (v5). A wife whose heart has been touched by God will limp like Jacob. Her humble, inward beauty will radiate from her like a sunrise. She will not fear (v6), or continually butt heads with her husband, fighting for control, for she is looking to what is greater. Her eyes are on her Lord, and she seeks for his glory to be displayed through her marriage. So, like Christ, she voluntarily submits to her equal in quiet trust and humble worship.

Peter’s instructions for husbands are also all about humility. Men are called to approach their wives with sensitivity, understanding and consideration of their needs. They must live with their wives with “knowledge.” Schreiner thinks this is knowledge of how God wants them to treat their wives; knowledge of God’s will. It could also refer to knowledge of his wife’s specific needs. Either way, God requires husbands to put thought into their treatment of their wives.

Specifically, husbands are commanded to show honor to their wife (this is unique in Greco-Roman literature, according to Schreiner!). They honor their wife, because she is “the weaker vessel” (v7). This is not an insult (it is in the context of honoring them), and most likely refers to the fact that, in general, men are physically stronger than women. God, then, calls husbands to use their strengths to serve and honor their wives, rather than to abuse or mistreat them. God requires men to act in a gentle, humble, loving way to their wives, giving them honor and consideration. This is the outflow of a heart that has been touched by God.

Peter affirms the equality of husbands and wives in his last words on the subject, telling husbands that their wives are “heirs with you of the grace of life” (v7). This means that men and women stand as equals before the cross. This destroys pride, and encourages humility. A man who rejects this humble approach to his wife will not be blessed by God (“so that your prayers may not be hindered” – v7). God will not listen to a man who is not humble toward his wife.

The limp of Jacob must be seen in the way husbands and wives relate to each other. Our conversion to Christ makes a difference. Pride kills relationships, but a heart that has seen its sinfulness and God’s great grace will overflow in life-giving, marriage-building, joy-bringing, spouse-honoring humility, to the glory of God!

Are you acting in humility towards your spouse? Is there any area where God is calling you to humble yourself toward him/her? If you are failing in this area, receive God’s grace! Repent, and look now to the one who humbled himself for us at the cross. Touched by his humility, we are now free and enabled to show humility to others, including our spouse.

For his glory in the marriage!

Reference: (1, 2 Peter, Jude, The New American Commentary, Volume 37, by Thomas R. Schreiner. © 2003. B&H Publishing Group.)